From the Desk of The Nutty Nutritionist

Archive for the ‘Just for Laughs’ Category

Words of Wisdom from “Dr. Wong”

In Just for Laughs on January 26, 2010 at 11:57 PM

Many of you have been very enthusiastic to receive my responses to your diet & exercise questions.  Others, however, not so much.  You have simply ignored my blog postings, figuring you already know what it takes to live a long, healthy life.  In other words, you already have a handle on things…a “love handle” maybe!!!  So, for you rebellious types,  I have asked an “alternative” expert on diet and exercise to step in and shed some light on the subject.  Dr. Wong will answer your most pressing questions now.  It will be most helpful to read his answers aloud in a Chinese accent…

Q:  Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?

A:  Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q:  What are some advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A:  Can’t think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is:  No pain…good!

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A:  Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?

A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me…

Q:  Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A:  You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?  Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q:  Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q:  How about chocolate?  Is that bad for me?

A:  Are you crazy??  Hel-lo-o!!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:  Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Thank you very much, Dr. Wong.  Your responses will certainly be a big help to my readers.  We look forward to you posting more of your insights in the future.

The topic of diet & exercise can get a bit tedious & mundane sometimes.  Hopefully this post has put a smile on your face ;-D

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